That we will shape any surfboard, regardless of the mental condition of the person requesting the board. If you want a board made out of pine cones, rubber bands and chocolate, you've come to the right place. If you want a board with fins in the nose, we're on it. A board that is meant to be ridden backwards, so the tail looks like a nose and the nose looks just like a tail? We can totally do that.
It is because of the unhinged quality of our clientele, that we can confidently offer the "Always Shred Guarantee". The "Always Shred Guarantee" guarantees that our boards will always shred or you will get your dignity back. Usually, our boards shred your mind. Sometimes, they shed your sole. Often, but not that often, they shred your underwear.